Life Kit Life Kit

Overcoming romantic obsession

Oct 12, 2026 · 22m

Summary

Host Mariel Segarra discusses limerence, an intense romantic infatuation that can become an unhealthy addiction, with neuroscientist and author Tom Bellamy. They explore the neuroscience behind this state, comparing it to gambling addiction due to intermittent reinforcement. The episode outlines five strategies for overcoming limerence, including shifting your mindset, limiting contact, training your brain to recognize urges, spoiling romantic rewards, and finding new sources of purpose.

Topics discussed

Intro: The bird and the wind-up toy Defining limerence as a mental state Guest intro: Tom Bellamy and the neuroscience of limerence How limerence turns into addiction Sponsor breaks and episode preview Symptoms of limerence and audience reactions The gambling analogy: intermittent reinforcement Wanting vs. liking: the neuroscience of craving Sponsor break and transition to solutions Takeaway 1: Shifting your mindset Takeaway 2: Limiting contact and no contact Takeaway 3: Training your brain with metacognition Takeaway 4: Spoiling rewards and daymares Takeaway 5: Living with purpose and new rewards Dating after limerence and warning signs Recap of the five takeaways Credits and final sponsor messages
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