Overcoming romantic obsession
Oct 12, 2026 · 22m
Summary
Host Mariel Segarra discusses limerence, an intense romantic infatuation that can become an unhealthy addiction, with neuroscientist and author Tom Bellamy. They explore the neuroscience behind this state, comparing it to gambling addiction due to intermittent reinforcement. The episode outlines five strategies for overcoming limerence, including shifting your mindset, limiting contact, training your brain to recognize urges, spoiling romantic rewards, and finding new sources of purpose.
Topics discussed
Intro: The bird and the wind-up toy
Defining limerence as a mental state
Guest intro: Tom Bellamy and the neuroscience of limerence
How limerence turns into addiction
Sponsor breaks and episode preview
Symptoms of limerence and audience reactions
The gambling analogy: intermittent reinforcement
Wanting vs. liking: the neuroscience of craving
Sponsor break and transition to solutions
Takeaway 1: Shifting your mindset
Takeaway 2: Limiting contact and no contact
Takeaway 3: Training your brain with metacognition
Takeaway 4: Spoiling rewards and daymares
Takeaway 5: Living with purpose and new rewards
Dating after limerence and warning signs
Recap of the five takeaways
Credits and final sponsor messages
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