The Science Of Emotion Regulation: A Five-Step Plan For Not Losing Your Sh*t | Marc Brackett
Summary
Dan Harris and Dr. Mark Brackett discuss proactive emotion regulation, focusing on preparing for triggering situations to avoid reactive outbursts. They explore the concept of "best self" versus "reflexive self," using personal anecdotes to illustrate how pausing and strategic reframing can improve relationships and professional outcomes. The episode highlights practical techniques like sensing shifts, taking a breath, and visualizing ideal responses to maintain dignity and effectiveness under pressure.
Topics discussed
Introduction: The cost of losing your temper
Defining emotion regulation as using feelings wisely
Why children need to learn emotional skills
Proactive regulation: Preparing for triggering situations
The 'best self' concept and avoiding superficiality
Inhabiting specific roles like the 'feelings master'
Anticipatory strategies for high-stakes public speaking
Sponsor: 5-day meditation challenge with Diana Winston
Sponsor: BetterHelp for nervous system regulation
The power of self-talk and distance self-talk
Choosing between 'true self' and 'best self' in work
The danger of defaulting to judgmental 'true self'
Introducing the 'meta moment' and the 5-step process
Defining 'best self' as dignified and assertive, not a doormat
Step 1: Sensing the shift in feelings and body
Step 2: Stopping and taking a pause
Step 3: Seeing your best self for the specific role
Step 4: Strategizing actions (e.g., walking during Zoom)
Sponsors: Quince, Wayfair, and GameTime
Step 5: Self-assessment and flexible regulation
Poly-regulation: Matching strategies to specific emotions
Case study: Repairing a relationship after a fight
Applying the meta moment to social situations
Resources: Meta Moment Strategy Builder worksheet
Becoming an emotional ally for others
Closing segment: 'What is good' and the value of play
Outro and show credits
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