The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

You're Actually Not Bothering People Enough

Aug 10, 2026 · 26m

Summary

Dr. Laurie Santos and social psychologist Nick Epley explore why we fear asking for help, revealing that people are far more willing to assist than we expect. The episode features entrepreneur Xia Zhang, who overcame his fear of rejection through a 100-day challenge of asking strangers for favors, including Olympic-ring donuts. Their stories and research demonstrate that requesting help boosts happiness for both parties and strengthens social bonds.

Topics discussed

Sponsors: Choiceology, Rula, Amica, and ChatGPT Work Intro: The Happiness Hot Take on asking for help Zhao Zhang's childhood rejection and fear of failure Nick Epley's research on the psychology of asking The Polaroid experiment and misjudging others' reactions Sponsors: Quince, Wayfair, BetterHelp, and Amica Zhao Zhang begins 100 days of rejection therapy Viral success: The Olympic ring donuts at Krispy Kreme Analysis of Zhao's extreme requests and positive outcomes Sponsors: Quince, Amica, 4imprint, and Spoonful of Comfort Lessons from rejection therapy and the beautiful mess effect Strategies for asking: Relaxing and giving others an out Conclusion and final sponsor messages
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