You're Actually Not Bothering People Enough
Aug 10, 2026 · 26m
Summary
Dr. Laurie Santos and social psychologist Nick Epley explore why we fear asking for help, revealing that people are far more willing to assist than we expect. The episode features entrepreneur Xia Zhang, who overcame his fear of rejection through a 100-day challenge of asking strangers for favors, including Olympic-ring donuts. Their stories and research demonstrate that requesting help boosts happiness for both parties and strengthens social bonds.
Topics discussed
Sponsors: Choiceology, Rula, Amica, and ChatGPT Work
Intro: The Happiness Hot Take on asking for help
Zhao Zhang's childhood rejection and fear of failure
Nick Epley's research on the psychology of asking
The Polaroid experiment and misjudging others' reactions
Sponsors: Quince, Wayfair, BetterHelp, and Amica
Zhao Zhang begins 100 days of rejection therapy
Viral success: The Olympic ring donuts at Krispy Kreme
Analysis of Zhao's extreme requests and positive outcomes
Sponsors: Quince, Amica, 4imprint, and Spoonful of Comfort
Lessons from rejection therapy and the beautiful mess effect
Strategies for asking: Relaxing and giving others an out
Conclusion and final sponsor messages
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