Dracula (2026)
Summary
Hosts Dan McCoy, Stuart Wellington, and Elliot Charles Kalin review Luc Besson’s 2020 *Dracula*, critiquing its CGI gargoyles, perfume-centric plot, and departure from Bram Stoker’s source material. The episode also features a lengthy, humorous recap of the hosts’ recent experience attending the Louder Than Life metal festival in Louisville, where they watched Iron Maiden, Pantera, and Alice Cooper in extreme heat.
Topics discussed
Intro: Dracula and the podcast's ranking format
La La Land, bespoke stings, and stanky licks
Recap of the metal festival: Alice Cooper, Megadeth, Pantera
Iron Maiden set and crowd dynamics
Dracula movie intro: Luc Besson and Quibi jokes
Plot summary: Vlad's backstory and the 400-year jump
Location scouting, gargoyle babies, and physics complaints
Vlad's renunciation of God and the Paris 1880s setting
Whale storage, kimchi, and the vampire bride reveal
Gary Oldman's performance and the 'Count Chocula' comparison
Jonathan Harker's arrival and the gramophone scene
Critique of the London segment and the book's pacing
The perfume dance sequence and orange peel analogy
Vlad turning women into vampires and the nunnery
Mina Murray's introduction and the double-take scene
Tangents on post-apocalyptic fantasies and 'The Wicker Man'
Critique of Gary Oldman's Victorian Dracula portrayal
Axe body spray jokes and the final assault on the castle
Gargoyle roommates, Swiss Guard, and relationship advice
The final battle and theological debates
The ending, Drax Daycare joke, and fanfic theory
Final verdicts: 'Snorifying' vs 'Frighteningly Funny'
Sponsor read: Factor meals
Promo: Flophouse live shows and season pass
Listener letters: Advice on therapy and consistency
Listener letters: Pitching, 'This Too Shall Pass', and scheduling
Listener letters: Czech New Wave and Topeka, Kansas
Listener letters: Akira, horror entry points, and Marx Brothers
Listener letters: Comics, detective movies, and Shocktober
Movie recommendations: Times Square and Tim Curry
Movie recommendations: Hope and The Wailing
Movie recommendations: Orlando and Tilda Swinton
Outro and Flophouse Challenge
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