Unreliable Narrator
Summary
Megan O’Giblin discusses her memoir *Will and Attention*, exploring how her loss of fundamentalist faith led to severe alcohol addiction and a later relapse. She examines the psychological mechanics of self-deception, describing how the "second voice" in her mind rationalized harmful choices despite her intellectual awareness of the danger. The conversation highlights the parallels between spiritual surrender and substance use, arguing that recovery requires shifting from mere willpower to sustained attention and moral practice.
Topics discussed
Sponsors: Xero and Built
Introduction: The concept of self-deception
Megan O'Giblin's background in fundamentalism
Growing up with apocalyptic beliefs
The crisis of faith and leaving the church
The onset of alcoholism after losing faith
Escalation: Drinking, smoking, and Adderall
Failed attempts at sobriety and self-awareness
The paradox of knowing vs. doing in addiction
The two selves: Wiser mind vs. lower self
Writing as an amplifier for the wiser self
Carl Jung and the merging of selves
Hannah Arendt and the banality of evil
Acting automatically vs. shutting off the brain
Fantasies of drinking and the QR code loophole
Sponsors: Vistaprint and Mubi
The spiritual work to escape the hypercritical mind
The pearl of great price: Finding a new obsession
Surrender to God vs. surrender to substances
Boredom with stability and the desire for dynamism
The rote nature of the 'found' narrative
Will vs. Attention: The book's central thesis
Attention as a sustainable discipline
Observing the 'mindless beast' within
Attention as waiting and looking, not grasping
Recovery communities and objective self-view
Conclusion: Attention as soul-building
Sponsors: Square, Viori, and Vanguard
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