Connecting with Kids Shouldn't Be a Performance
Summary
Janet Lansbury addresses a listener’s concern about her 17-month-old being pressured to perform for his grandmother, emphasizing that connection should be organic rather than performative. She explains that true bonding comes from observing and receiving children as people, not from eliciting specific reactions or entertainment. Lansbury advises the parent to stop correcting the grandparent directly, which causes defensiveness, and instead model respectful behavior by calmly reflecting the child’s feelings and the grandparent’s desires. This approach helps both generations navigate their re…
Topics discussed
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Sponsor: Wayfair
Pre-order announcement for Baby Person
Introduction: Connecting with children
Listener question: Grandparent forcing toddler to perform
Why performance-based connection is ineffective
Reasons connecting should not involve performing
How to connect: Observing and receiving
Sponsor: Hey Polo
Sponsor: Monarch
Understanding the grandparent's perspective
The power of modeling behavior
Practical strategies: Reflecting back to child
Practical strategies: Reflecting back to grandparent
Managing conflict and respecting boundaries
Conclusion: Trusting the child and the relationship
Closing remarks
Sponsor: Monday.com
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