“Don’t Ask That!” with Sam Berstler
Summary
Philosophers Geoff Howard and Emily McTernan interview MIT’s Sam Bursler about her paper "Bad Question," which argues that certain inquiries morally wrong their addressees by violating privacy rights. Bursler explains how questions like "Do you have cancer?" trap respondents in no-win scenarios where even silence or lying leaks information through physiological cues. Drawing on Erving Goffman’s concept of "poise," the discussion explores how social norms, small talk, and tactful interaction help manage these vulnerabilities and protect personal boundaries.
Topics discussed
Introduction and defining bad questions
The puzzle of privacy rights and intrusive questions
Case study: Asking a colleague about cancer
Why lying is difficult and the one-second window
Goffman, poise, and the skill of self-control
Social norms, etiquette, and the virtue of mentalism
Online communication vs. face-to-face interaction
Small talk, trust, and British social customs
The dance of intimacy and waiving privacy rights
Requests, invitations, and workplace dynamics
Recommendations and closing remarks
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