122: Can you change who you’re attracted to? w/ Annie Lord
Jul 21, 2026 · 1h 7m
Summary
Hosts Ash and Moira welcome author Annie Lord to discuss her debut novel, *The Project*, which explores makeover tropes and dating disillusionment. The trio delves into the psychology of romantic "types," analyzing how childhood experiences, class aspiration, and social validation shape attraction. They also examine how personal growth and therapy can shift one's desires, moving from seeking external validation to finding peace and authenticity in relationships.
Topics discussed
Introduction and the origin of the If I Speak podcast
Discussion of Annie Lorde's book 'The Project'
Quiz segment: Favorite water, memes, and impactful writing
Annie Lorde's poetry, tattoos, and artistic process
Interrogating romantic types and changing desires
Ash's type: Dark hair, Marxism, and emotional stability
Aspirational dating and class dynamics in relationships
Taylor Swift's wedding fantasy and public validation
Growing together vs. staying fixed in relationships
The 'container' of relationships and ghosting culture
Leonardo DiCaprio's aging and the super-ego
Listener dilemma: Cynicism, Hinge bans, and meeting people
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