If I Speak If I Speak

122: Can you change who you’re attracted to? w/ Annie Lord

Jul 21, 2026 · 1h 7m

Summary

Hosts Ash and Moira welcome author Annie Lord to discuss her debut novel, *The Project*, which explores makeover tropes and dating disillusionment. The trio delves into the psychology of romantic "types," analyzing how childhood experiences, class aspiration, and social validation shape attraction. They also examine how personal growth and therapy can shift one's desires, moving from seeking external validation to finding peace and authenticity in relationships.

Topics discussed

Introduction and the origin of the If I Speak podcast Discussion of Annie Lorde's book 'The Project' Quiz segment: Favorite water, memes, and impactful writing Annie Lorde's poetry, tattoos, and artistic process Interrogating romantic types and changing desires Ash's type: Dark hair, Marxism, and emotional stability Aspirational dating and class dynamics in relationships Taylor Swift's wedding fantasy and public validation Growing together vs. staying fixed in relationships The 'container' of relationships and ghosting culture Leonardo DiCaprio's aging and the super-ego Listener dilemma: Cynicism, Hinge bans, and meeting people
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