Good Life Project Good Life Project

Single at Heart: What if You Don't Need Someone Else to “Complete” You | Bella DePaulo, PhD

Sep 10, 2026 · 49m

Summary

Jonathan Fields interviews Harvard-trained researcher Bella DePaulo, author of *Single at Heart*, to challenge the societal bias that single people are unhappy. DePaulo shares data from over 20,000 respondents showing that "single at heart" individuals thrive through chosen solitude and diverse social connections, often outperforming coupled peers in well-being. The discussion explores why society pathologizes single happiness and how maintaining a network of "ones" rather than relying on a single partner leads to greater resilience and psychological richness in later life.

Topics discussed

Introduction: The skepticism toward happy single people Sponsors: Capital One and Nature Raised Farm The 1992 newspaper clip that sparked the research Guest background: A lifelong single journey Defining 'Single at Heart' and the discomfort of coupling Why society doubts the happiness of single individuals Research on bias: Judging single vs. married people Personal anecdotes: The pressure to conform to marriage Sponsors: Bombas, Function Health, and Wayfair Case study: A man who regrets marrying for fulfillment The importance of solitude and survey findings Benefits of single life: Freedom and autonomy Sponsors: Ernie's and Kohler Social connections: 'The Ones' vs. 'The One' Resilience and self-sufficiency in aging single Community support: The 'Angels' who helped a survivor Gender differences in embracing single life Living authentically: Simple joys and redefining success Key takeaways and call to action for listeners Outro, credits, and final sponsor reads
Listen ad-free on Castria