573: The Good Shepherd (2004)
Summary
In this episode of God Awful Movies, hosts No Illusions and Eli Bosnik, joined by guest Andy King, review the 2004 direct-to-video film The Confessor. The trio dissects the movie’s plot, which centers on a Catholic priest investigating a murder while dealing with church scandals and a weak murder mystery. They critique the film’s dated 2004 sensibilities, poor writing, and Christian Slater’s performance as a brooding, ineffective protagonist. The discussion highlights the movie’s confusing narrative structure and its awkward handling of sensitive themes like pedophilia and the priesthood.
Topics discussed
Shell Fuel Rewards sponsorship
Intro: Church attendance and guest introduction
Welcome guest Andy King
Discussion on The Confessor vs The Good Shepherd
Nominations for Best Worst Movie
Movie background and BetterHelp sponsorship
Opening scene and Christian Slater's character
Critique of the opening sequence
Priest's lifestyle and behavior
Inciting incident: Murdered priest
Title card and priest jokes
Establishing the priest characters
The murder suspect introduction
Priest checking stocks and 2004 context
Investigation begins and confession trope
Critique of the confession scene
Interview with the suspect
Reporter introduction and church scandal
Priest's wine and stock portfolio
Past relationship with the reporter
Bacon cheesecake joke and interview dynamics
Defending the suspect and sexual tension
Suspect's ambiguous answers
Church protection and truth
Priest's modest living and monk friend
Dorm room comparison
Bad writing and priest stereotypes
Podcast drama and Equality movement
Pedophile vs gay priest distinction
Priest's holier-than-thou attitude
Arrest scene and Rocket Money sponsorship
Weasel down fact and apology
Character exposition and apology
Talking about the victim
Middle of the film quality
Madeline's monologue
Mixed messages and story focus
Suspect introduction and prison access
Suicide objection and character development
Prayer request and more trouble
Press release and dramatic moment
Business stuff and moving to new church
Kid fucking and lingering shots
Church jobs and dinner in New York
Vestments and confession with Henry
Henry's importance and forgetting grace
Stew and stomach pain
First sermon and plant warning
Mrs. Gallagher and Irish stereotypes
Story nonsense and phone call
Kids escaping the shelter
Light sign and caretaker suspicion
Stakeout plan and clearer head
Mrs. Donnelly and dog incident
Flirting and Jesus on the cross
Phone anxiety and bowling alley
Patreon transition and bonus episode
Do not freak out website
Tailing Christian Slater
Taping confessions and Irish ladies
Equality visit and punishment
Punishment details and watch
Moving out and banging at the door
Plan to find the kid
Heroin overdose confusion
Purging soul and attic kid
Cops and dead body
Shower scene and quirky glance
Fingerprints and Boston best friend
Old ladies and comic relief
Settling up and confession tapes
Lying about stew and Levvar Burton
Pedophile association and Jewish background
Crazy line and improvised fight
Sloppy parts and crozier
Murderer goes free and youth center
Brain matter and Sea World
Next movie: No Illusions
Christian Slater's career and cabin
Pigeon sound and acting school
Shell Fuel Rewards sponsorship
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