d6 Paltry Monarchs of the Stoker Counties
Summary
This Bastionland reading presents a satirical travelogue by a Bastionite nobleman visiting the "Stoker Counties" to debunk the romanticized archetype of deep country monarchs. The narrator encounters six eccentric rulers, including a suffocating sea-protector, a manipulative warlord, and a tree-bound queen, each exposing the region's backwardness and delusion. The journey ends in a surreal twist where the narrator becomes trapped in a growing kingdom ruled by a hermit, illustrating the inescapable nature of these provincial powers.
Topics discussed
Introduction: The archetype of the deep country king
Arrival in the Stoker Counties and trade with Bastion
Queen Blanche of Pale: A calm but unsettling meeting
King Toppet of Nethermere: The warlord's camp
The King's strategic prowess and martial ferocity
Dining with the King and the urge to die for him
Queen Iby of Laaset: The tree-house palace
The town's hunger and devotion to the Queen
Encountering the Queen in the woods
Queen Ormelion of Faylk: The three crowned realms
The isolated gray palace and the court's celebration
Conversation with the bored young Queen
Grand Prince Christabel of Erwal: Order and tolls
The open court and the queue for entry
Palace tour and the Prince's jealousy
King Jazuli of the Vacant Realm: Getting lost
The hermit, the sleeping child, and the impossible road
Conclusion: Surrendering to the new kingdom
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