Marc Brackett (on emotional intelligence)
Summary
Mark Brackett, founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, discusses his book *Permission to Feel* and the RULER method for emotional intelligence. He shares his personal history of childhood abuse, the impact of a supportive mentor, and how these experiences shaped his research on emotional regulation. The conversation explores the political pushback against social-emotional learning and emphasizes that emotional skills build resilience rather than fragility.
Topics discussed
Intro, sponsor read, and guest introduction
Mark's childhood, family secrets, and abuse
Uncle Marvin and the concept of permission to feel
Coming out, shame, and public disclosure of abuse
Academic struggles and discovering emotional education
Defining emotional intelligence vs. emotional stupidity
Sponsors and applying EQ to neurodiversity
Anger, shame, and parental triggers
The Mood Meter and emotional granularity
Mislabeling emotions and pressure on high achievers
Cultural barriers to emotional expression
Fixed vs. growth mindset in emotional regulation
The impermanence of feelings and power dynamics
Prevention, mindfulness, and cognitive strategies
Deactivation, temporal distancing, and co-regulation
Building emotional muscles and honoring Uncle Marvin
Secret Santa, lightboards, and supporting depression
Botox, cashmere collection, and hair texture
Movie reviews, bee stings, and tragic anecdotes
Gift hunting, lactose intolerance, and Whoopi Goldberg
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